24 HOURS SPENT IN IMH{INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH} SINGAPORE-APRIL 2007.
The worst 24 hours of my life, was when one day, my husband and me had a massive fight, he left home, I was shattered and crying, called my friend up, she came.Since I had no money, I could not check myself into my regular private hospital, so we went to IMH, a government hospital.Now, I was used to staying in a great private hospital, had all the facilities, sharing the room with one other person.Individual rooms are not allowed there,the hospital’s name is Mount Elizabeth, the best private hospital in Singapore.Somehow I had the impression that this hospital would be more or less like that.When we reached IMH, the doctor said that he would admit me at least until tomorrow, the doctors came every morning to visit patients.I was o.k with this fact, frankly, I was sick and tired of my BPD, just wanted to get better! We went up in the lift to the ward.There, I got the shock of my life! There was a huge room with about 100 women inside, screaming, crying, thumping on the windows, one had somehow managed to overturn her bed, she was tied to it! Her’s was the only bed, there were chairs and a T.V.clamped on the wall.Outside, where I was, there was a girl all tied up in bed screaming loudly at her parents, saying awful things.I totallaly broke down! No way I wanted to go inside that room, yes, I had BPD but the women inside seemed much worser than me! I was very scared of them! I begged the nurse not to put me there, otherwise I would also become mad! She was very nice and said behave properly, there’s a chance you could be discharged in the morning.I was taken to a room, made to strip, and given a gown to wear, then I was taken in the room.I kept quiet,was feeling scared if someone attacked me.Thank God no one noticed me! There was a clan,one lady asked why I was here, I told her the truth.I remember a very beautiful girl, sitting on a chair, totally drugged, when I asked the social worker she said she has violent outbursts of temper, so day in day out, she remains like a Zombie.I watched some T.V., then dinner time, then bedtime- 40 beds in one room.I kept my mouth shut, but inside I was in shock! Thank God morning came, I called Saad to come, he came and talked to the doctors and I was free to go! Never in my whole life I am going to forget those women, no one came to see them, they must have felt alone.My heart and prayers go out to them, God bless them.This was the first time in my life I bore everything patiently!
Wow, that sound terrifying. Glad you are out now. It does give perspective when things like this happen. Something similiar has happened to me. Hang in there
God bless you, it happened a very long age, every thing is better now!
Oh good!
glad that war is over for you
Thank you dear Gretchen!
Being heart-broken is not a mental illness, though it feels like it. People with neuro-differences suffer insult, injury and heart break the same as everyone else. I think you are living in that uncomfortable area known as “between a rock and a hard place”—- With the few women, I have known, do know, who have BPD, the frequency of cycling and the intensity of the cycles lessened as they got older. They do have good family support.—- Unfortunstely new heart breaks and new grief do not get easier to handle with age, though the intesity of old losses no longer leaves one always overwhelmed. and often the pain of old loss just fades away into the background with life filling up everything in between.
I am cured now according to my doctor but have to take regular medicines.
Wow! What a horrible experience! That was a riveting post. It is hard to imagine those conditions. I’m so sorry it happen to you, but it was memorable! Thanks for being brave enough to share. Here’s a hug!
Marsha
Thank you so much! God bless you!
Wow. I’m sorry this happened. God bless.
Thank you dear John!
Oh my. My jaw dropped when I read this. I am so sorry that you or anyone else would have to go through an experience like this. I hope that you do not have to go through anything like this again.
Hopefully, never!
Psychological disorders are scary. I have PTSD which will never go away. Its not as bad as BPD, but I have my bad days. Usually in the form of depression or panic attacks, constant anxiety. Part of the reason I create to take my mind off my mind. If that makes any sense? Meds are a great thing in some cases. Some people misuse them for recreation purposes, but for their intended purpose they are lifesavers. Sounds like a scary place to be.
I completely identify with you, I will pray you get better! God bless you!
Many live a decent life with BPD….You become stronger and sturdier…All the best…..
Thank you so much!
Thank God we are not what we struggle with. Many times it is the hard places that cause us to cry out to God and then see victory over the things that want to devour us. Praise God you are well and the experience is behind you.
Yes! you are right!
When we see the suffering of other people, our suffering is diminished to nothingness and wonder why we were complaining in the first place. At least that happens to me. There are days when I want to run and scream and just stop caring about the world and everyone else – days I want to be selfish, days I want to think only about myself. But the moment I see someone else suffer, the moment I read about someone else’s misfortunes, my troubles seem so small in comparison.
Imagine what those women must have gone through to make them lose their mind to such a degree. I wish there was no suffering for anyone.
I agree with you dear Amira!
Sometimes forgetting and proceeding seems difficult but you have to do that. You seem to be a brave and fighter. Keep it up. Blessings.
My pleasure! God bless you dear Indira!
I’m so happy for you Taz, to over come so much is truly a testament to your character and spirit…We face many trials in our lives times and it’s all about how we come out of those fires…You dear friend have out shined even the brightest star
And we must not forget those who are left to battle this alone….Bless you Taz
God bless you my dearest friend!
I just wanted to congratulate you on how far you’ve come. Your faith, courage, and resilience have obviously served you well.
Best wishes,
Jim Amos, MD
The Practical Psychosomaticist
Thank you so much, you really understand being a doctor! God bless you!
Wow! People really don’t realize the reality of what goes on in a psych-ward. I’m so glad you’re ok and everything worked out for the best. BPD can be devastating for some and debilitating for others. It’s a shame that there aren’t better treatments and facilities to treat disorders like these. It’ll probably take a person with the disorder with a bunch of money to create this type of humane treatment facility so people aren’t ‘forgotten’. Once again – I’m glad that you’re ok. Bob
Thank you so much dear Bob!
You’re so very welcome .. and keep on posting.
Sure will!
Wow!!! Quite an experience. Happy you have been helped through such a medical history as yours. Wish you well, Tazein.
Thank you so much for your great support! Take care!
Dear Tazein,
Everybody goes through some form of mental trials and tribulations at some time or the other. The intesity varies. We all feel our minor ills are the biggest until we see the likes you saw in that Hospital. We shoud consider ourselves blessed and whatever happens is for the ultimate good. It is a matter of attitude to life that makes all the difference. You must consider yourself lucky to be a mother of three beautiful children and God has been kind to you in more than one way.. In doing so you will always be positive and will have a better and contented life..Mind you things could have been worse.
And tell me Tazein who does not have fights in the family???
You are right! I am a strong woman through my sufferings!
May God give you the serenity to accept the things that you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference…
May you grow from strenght to. strength….Waiting to read the book you are writing..
Good Luck and Godspeed
Thank you so much for your support!
One day soon I will regain my rightful freedom and it will be safe to tell my story. For now I want to say that the months Ive been incarcerated has enabled me to learn, change, grow, love, accept, and forgive. Where once was a selfish man now stands a selfless man. I am fortunate you found my blog, and through it I found yours. I will be back to see what you have to say an share…. Blessings!
God bless you- you have my support!