I had gone on a short visit to meet my parents in Karachi, in December 2005.Sadly my father felt unwell, so he was admitted in the hospital He was not breathing properly, within a matter of days his condition worsened, and he passes away.I cried my eyes out,felt a very strange grief, but we had to come back to Singapore, because kids school were starting, so we came back.I was shocked to find out that I was pregnant! I could not believe it! Not at all planned!I begged Saad to terminate, because I could not handle so much- trying to grieve for my father, and an unplanned pregnancy! So I bottled up all my feelings inside, never grieved for my father, just became numb for the whole 9 months!Throughout the pregnancy I ate a lot- it provided comfort ! I never used to see the ultra scans, because I could not identify with this baby! I felt guilty that after my father’s death, I conceived, this guilt went on for 2 years!My father passed away on 9.9.2005, Malaikaah was born on 9.9.2006-This sentence says it all! STRANGE! The minute I looked at her, I in love at once, everything forgotten-I kept her name Malaikaah- means angel in Arabic. God took away my father but gave me this angel!